Malfoy Madness Vol9
by Librarybeauty
Summary: Hermione has a teacher confrence, sees the finished baby nursery and all hell breaks lose when she can't wear her designer heels..oh yah and when she goes into labor. DMHG ONESHOT. Rated M.


Author's note: sorry I didn't update sooner, I was in San Francisco…my favorite city and hometown for the weekend

Author's note: sorry I didn't update sooner, I was in San Francisco…my favorite city and hometown for the weekend. I really didn't want to stay in the town-house and write when there was a beautiful city waiting for me. Ghirardelli ice-cream rocks! –Ebony.

Rating: M for mature.

Disclaimer: The lovely J.K. Rowling owns everything well except for this story.

Special thanks: **Dolphinroxy**, Well that is a very frequently asked question. Why don't I make it one story…well because sweetie I prefer making one shots and it's different. I'm glad you like the story over-all thanks for the review sweetheart. **Bbycaks01**, I'm glad you still like my story and I am very happy you review! Thanks darling. **Stupigurlultra**, that's all you had to say and reviewing makes me very happy. Thanks doll. **Twitchy the Squirrel, **I have no clue how far I'm going with this story, because I haven't decided yet. I'm glad you like Jock and his whole hair outlook. I'm glad you liked this volume, you're a sweetie! Thanks for the review! **Daniela1417**, Thank you for your honest opinion those are treasured because I love it when people tell me what they think. Yes, there should be more chemistry between Hermione and Draco…Ill work on that. I was just so lazy and it shows because my volumes have lacked dialogue and is shorter. I'm working on my writing and I hope this volume feeds your (cough) 'love' crave. You're a sweetie and thanks for your sweet and sour review. You're a true lady. I also have a baby son around 4 months old. Your twins sound cute! I'm a young mom too. P.S. My son's name is Edward.

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Hermione never thought she'd see the day where Elle would actually want to be part of Hermione's life. It was very strange for Hermione to answer her phone while at lunch to hear Elle's voice. Truthfully it made Hermione want to lose her lunch. Second it made her angry. Third a little bit annoyed. Finally it made her happy; at least her dad wanted her to be part of this woman's life. He hadn't really been in her life. Which reminded her that she had to tell her dad she was meeting her brother…

Why did Elle always bring bad news? It seems like after Elle walks into a scene or back into her life things just automatically begin to suck. Hermione ignored the phone call and decided to keep it that way even if she would have to hear the annoying voicemails. She didn't need any bad news.

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Max sat there, he hated parent teacher conferences. Really they were pointless and stupid. He hated his teacher to, she had a huge nose and her hair was frizzy. His mum's hair wasn't even that frizzy. She never would shut up and just talked and talked until there was no tomorrow. He was good at his school work and that's all he had to be…he didn't actually have to be nice to her. His mother didn't look happy.

"He wrote this?" Stupid mean teacher passes it to his mother.

Hermione looks at the paper and nods, she doesn't look that upset but Max looks scared. He sits farther in his seat and starts to slide down.

"You can see why this is a problem?" the teacher says pointing to the picture of her with devil horns and bat wings…also tied to a burning tree sealed the deal.

Hermione looked up, "I'm sorry, he has a wild imagination."

The teacher scoffs, "More like judgment issues…"

"I'm very very sorry, I speak for his father and we are very sorry." She says knowing Draco is in Scotland for the day.

Max sits up, "I'm sorry…I just was mad." He says it but the way he said it was disbelieving.

The teacher looks from Max to Hermione, "Mrs. Malfoy I am thinking of referring him to counseling."

Hermione felt this was a slap to the face, "wait, a minute here…before you go sending him to the psychiatric ward…"

"Mam, I was only suggesting…"

"No that's the problem…you weren't. Tell me this…How many children have drawn pictures in your class before of this nature? Let it be of other children or adults?"

She shrugs and looks at Hermione like she can't believe this woman is fighting her, "A few…"

"A few...okay. How many have been referred to counseling?"

The teacher looks like she was caught in the act, "None…"

"Excuse me?"

"None, none have been referred."

"Are you telling me you are just upset because he drew a picture of you? While other students draw other students is just fine. Let me tell you something, boys will be boys. Like girls pull hair…boys draw pictures. Trust me Max does not need counseling." Hermione had proved a point, the teacher was nearly speechless. This girl was good. Then again she was a Malfoy.

Hermione stands and takes Max hand, "To make it easier for you ill have Max switch classes starting Monday. I'm sorry that it has to be a high school situation with you and as a teacher you can't take criticism well, well welcome to the real world. Next time a child draws a picture just talk to them….don't call a press conference. Thank you for your time." Hermione and Max leave the class room. Max has a smug smile on his face.

Once they are in the hall and the door is closed behind them. Hermione turns towards Max, "Don't think your out safe…"

His smug smile is gone.

"I want you're Nintendo Ds and when we get home, that broom is going to." She says like the mother she is.

Max whines, "Mummy…I…I"

Hermione turns around, "You have to understand Max, it was wrong to do that. If you were in Hogwarts they could have expelled you. You can not do this anymore."

Max stands there, it wasn't fair. It wasn't to him anyway…he was just having fun.

Hermione stares at him and watches his eyes fill with tears. She takes him and sits him down on a bench in the hallway and looks at him, "Why did you do that?"

He shrugs, "She…she is mean."

Hermione wipes his eyes, "Max a lot of people are mean…it's going to happen but you can't just draw these pictures because they are…"

Max nods and doesn't answer back. He was holding back something, like Draco did when he was super angry or just really depressed.

Hermione takes a deep breath, sometimes she wonders if she is a counselor more then a mother and wife. She sits next to him and asks him, "You have to tell me why you acted out like this."

He sniffles and wipes his face with his sleeve, "I don't know…"

Hermione thinks for a second and thinks she has the answer, "Is it because we are busy getting ready for the baby?"

His eyes open like she knows everything; he tries to hide it and shakes his head, "No…no it's not."

Hermione rolls her eyes, "I thought we talked about this…-"

Max cuts her off, "That the baby will take a lot of time….yeah I know."

Hermione takes a deep breath, "Max…just because the baby is going to be here doesn't mean your not going to be in our lives anymore. You're still my son. Yes, you have more responsibilities and you are growing up. Acting out like this is not a way to get attention."

Max looks up at her, "Your not going to tell dad are you?"

Hermione bites her lips and nods, "I have too…"

He goes pale, "that's not going to be good."

Hermione stands up and takes his hand, "Come on we can go home and discuss your punishment and maybe Dad will think you already have it bad and won't get too mad."

Max nods and walks with her. His other hand takes off his tie.

Hermione smiles, "We can also look through a big book of names and look for a funny name for your sister!"

Max laughs, "Like octopus! Or Bertha or ugly!" his evil laugh fills the halls.

Hermione shakes her head, her son was going to be an evil big brother "Keep coming up with names and maybe we will choose one."

Max adds, "Then when…when she is older I can all her that and she'll get mad and ill say 'hay it's your name.'

"Hey what about hippo-put-smutch?" he says quickly.

"Hippopotamus…and it's a little too big for a little sister."

"That's what I said…and no it's not." He protests while his mother laughs.

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Hermione sits on the granite countertop in her private kitchen; her bare feet hit the cold stainless steel. She loved being pregnant and barefoot... Her jeans and long red sweater make her comfy. She stares at him. He looks angry, and then again amused about the picture.

"So?" Hermione says eating a chocolate chip cookie.

He looks up, "Well I'm going to have to do something…"

Hermione nods and sarcastically smiles "Look at you daddy warbucks…"

He looks up, "you got mad at me the other day for not being serious about the whole sex thing and now you're not serious about this…"

Hermione drinks the milk from her wine glass, "Well sorry, this is more of a humorous situation. Plus this is more your area of expertise."

He looks at her with his arms crossed and leaned up against the other counter. He wasn't even going to fight with her, she wasn't in any condition to be fought with, "Okay, but I'm still going to have to punish him."

Hermione nods, "alright then." She swallows another cookie and folds her arms.

Draco raises his eyebrows playfully, "Were those my cookies?"

Hermione looks at the empty plate and shrugs and with her mouth full of cookies she says, "Maybe."

He walks over to her and goes in-between her legs, "You're a pain in the ass."

She stares at him, "Well it takes one to know one."

He leans in and kisses her, chocolate invades his mouth. He lets her go and says, "Yes, those were my cookies."

She holds his hands in hers, "I can get you some more…"

He leans in again and kisses her; this one was deeper and longer. "I wanted those cookies."

Her hand goes up into his hair and she lowers him back down for another snog session. He doesn't protest. In fact he pulls her closer.

Her lips move to his collarbone. His to her ear. Hermione lets out a moan after about three seconds and after his hand moves to her sensitive breasts.

Max walks into the kitchen, why he chose this one out of the three in Malfoy manor was just Hermione and Draco's luck. "Mum-" he sees his dad and leaves to make sure Draco isn't angry.

Hermione looks at Draco giggling, "Wow, he looked scared."

Draco's hands were on Hermione's knees he laughs and kisses her again, "Saved by the wrath of a father."

Her hands move to his face and she stares into his eyes, "I love you." She puts it out there, very random. Still she means it. She did this a lot she was a very random person.

He brings his hands behind the arch of her back, "I love you too."

She takes his reading glasses off his head and puts them on, "Your getting old…"

He shakes his head and smirks, "Old? What I'm only twenty three…"

She puts them on the arch of her nose, "Still look like a librarian?"

He takes them off of her nose and puts them to the side of the counter, "Yes, your still my bookworm. You still save the books place with a piece of paper and…"

"A bookmark…"

"Okay you still save the book's page with a bookmark no matter how much it annoys me. You have a wand…but no you use a stupid piece of paper. You still would rather read a book instead of watch television."

"Hey, I was the one who introduced you into Television." She said smugly.

He kisses her again; he wipes her smug smile off and says, "I introduced you to sex."

She laughs and lies against the counter. "You'll use that against me forever!" her arms over her eyes.

He pulls her up again and says, "If I remember right you jumped me…"

"Why do we even fight about this?" she giggles. "I gave you the note…and after you showed like half the slytherin population you finally…"

Draco stands there and thinks for a second, "I did not I only told Grabbe and Goyle and Blaise was there so…"

Hermione looks at him with a look that suggest he better think about what he just said.

"Okay, your right…I told three blabber mouths."

Hermione smiles, "So continue after you told half the slytherin population…"

Draco rolls his eyes, "I came and found you talking to Weasel-"

"Weasley." She corrects.

He rolls his eyes again, "okay so after you talked to Weasley, I pulled you aside and we hung out by the lake for an hour…"

Hermione nods, "You didn't tell me right away…you teased me. You brought up a conversation about pimp canes and Brandy…what the hell did I know about that?"

Draco smiles, "I was a tease…and you were funny trying to bring up information you knew on Brandy and pimp canes."

"I knew a little bit about it…well I know more about it now." She looks at him and leans her head against his chest. Takes a deep breath smelling his cologne and just loving his warmth. "Finish the story…"

"Finally you blew up; with that temper you have and asked me about the note, after I had denied anything about the note. You pushed me in the lake…and I pulled you in with me."

Hermione giggles, "Then we got a terrible cold and spent the whole night together in the hospital wing…"

"Talking about books, brandy, pimp canes and the note…" he finishes her sentence and pulls her closer. He smells the vanilla in her hair and her perfume that smells like a light heavenly sent. He kisses her forehead. He loved her…he loved everything about her.

Hermione blinks and laughs, "Madame Pomfrey told us to shut up but we kept talking…You got me in allot of trouble too…"

He laughs and backs away and looks at the time, "Well I believe I have a conference call and then I can join you and get in more trouble…"

She pulls at his tie and kisses him. "Merlin you're hot…"

He nods and looks at himself, "Damn straight…old my ass."

He helps her down and begins to walk off when he hears Hermione screech in pain.

He comes back, "What? What s it? Are you in labor? What?"

Hermione looked to be crying, hunched over but she looked up and was laughing, "My toe…I hit my toe on my Jimmy Choo." Her kicked off shoes must have ran into her toes when she tried to slip them on.

He helps her into a chair, "You scared the shit out of me." He pulls her foot on his lap and looks at her bleeding manicured toes, "I told you those things were dangerous…"

She squirms, "Go to your conference call….oww owww." She can't even reach her toe with her pregnant belly.

He rolls his eyes, "Which one is it?" His wife was more important then a stupid call.

She giggles, "The piggy that went to the market!"

He looks up at her, "You call me old?" He kisses her small foot and takes out his wand.

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Hermione for once in her whole married life was wearing converse. She looked cute in them, but she felt uncomfortable.

Hermione whined, "I'm short…"

Ginny rolled her eyes and huffed, "Hermione would you shut up…you look cute…and you don't need a pair of heels to prove that."

Pansy walks up with her kids, "Hermione…did you shrink or something?"

Ginny puts her face in her hands and grumbles.

Hermione turns towards Ginny, "I told you…I'm a mushroom…I'm a fat mushroom!"

Pansy's kids run off to play, "Hermione…your wearing converse?"

Hermione nods, "Yes, and I haven't worn a pair in like seven years!" she folds her arms.

Ginny smiles, "I think they are cute and probably comfortable."

Pansy nods, "These are, they're cheetah print…cute."

Hermione doesn't believe them, "Yeah, well I feel short."

Ginny asks, "Then why did you wear them?"

"I had an unfortunate toe accident…"

Pansy starts coughing on her coffee and laughing hysterically.

Ginny can't stop herself, "God Hermione you make it sound like it's the end of the world…it's like you can't read anymore." She cracks up laughing.

Hermione's eyes bulge, "Don't even talk like that!"

Pansy stops laughing, "You only feel short Hermione because Draco is a Malfoy and Malfoys are very tall people…that's when and why you started wearing heels and now that you can't wear them, you're beneath them and not with them…"

Ginny and Hermione look at her; this was the second time she actually gave good advice. Hermione murmurs, "Well look at you Dr.Phil."

Ginny nods, "You're like the Dali Lama…"

Pansy snaps back into bitch, "Oh my god, look at that woman."

Hermione and Ginny see a woman with fried hair and no make-up, Pansy was back to normal.

They watch the woman and her two kids…they were misbehaving and she couldn't keep them contained, just a normal muggle mother…or so they thought. The little girl made a large rock hit her brother… simple wandless magic.

The three mothers looked at each other, to make sure they all saw the same thing.

The mother freaked and watched her son cry, he left without a bruise…but she was freaked out…she apparently had never seen this before.

Hermione gets up and walks over there, with the protests of the other two.

Hermione puts her hand out, "Hello I'm Hermione Malfoy…"

The mother looks overwhelmed and stutters, "H-hello…I'm Marry"

Her daughter, who is wearing a princess Belle dress-up dress and her hair in braids says, "Wow your pretty!" she thought Hermione was the prettiest mum she had ever seen.

Mary looks up at Hermione and says, "Wow she's never looked at me like that except when I had fruit loops in my hair…"

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Jock smiles at the finished Nursery. Or what he liked to call the 'bay-bay suite' It was huge and right out of a catalog. The walls were a dark purple and violet stripes and gold trims and shelves. The crib was a circle and satin flow over the top creating a canopy. The room was full of baby toys muggle and magical. The ceiling was enchanted and showed the baby blue sky and clouds shaped as different shapes during the day and at night it was calm blanket of stars that twinkled. The floor was black and white checkered tile and A light pink plush carpet surrounded the play area and underneath the crib. Hermione even had a little library of hundreds children's books by the bay window and a chair.

The closet was huge, and was full of different baby clothes. It was color coded and labeled like Hermione's closet. Jock knew what he was doing.

He pulled Hermione to another closet and said, "I was thinking to myself…what would make this closet totally Hermione and I came up with this!"

He opens up the closet to expose a large closet full of different designer baby shoes. Some of them to replicate Hermione's favorite shoes.

Hermione was speechless about the nursery; she nearly started crying when she saw the shoes.

Jock sniffled, "Don't cry! You're going to make me cry!"

She was so extremely happy she had to sit down in a pink plush chair and held onto the stuffed lion. "Sorry it's just…so beautiful," she wipes her eyes.

Jock fans himself, "I know…I did fabulous!" he starts to cry.

She sniffles, "Can I have a hug?"

He gets up and hugs her, "Oww…baby love…I love it…its so whore-monal and cuddly all at the same time."

Hermione cracks up laughing; Jock had the power to make her laugh at anything.

He smiles and says, "Okay, now let me show you the bathroom!"

She gets up and follows him into a bathroom that is as big as Hermione's master bathroom. It is white and gold and it has a French tub and has princess stuff all over it. It makes Hermione wonder if he bought all the stuff he wanted in his bathroom. Then again he was a queen not a princess.

She pictured giving her baby its first bath in the tub and looked at the fluffy pink towels and pictured the baby getting dry and comfy.

"How much do I owe you Jock?" Hermione asks smiling on the verge of tears again. He was wonderful and was doing all her projects from now on.

Jock shakes his head. "No…nothing…I did this because I wanted too. You believed in me."

Hermione looks at him and hugs him, her hormones all a wreck again. "Jock you are like a sister to me…your family." She meant every word.

He is touched; very touched…he wipes his eyes and flips his hair trying to contain his composure, "Well you're my diva…" He walks out into the bedroom to regain his composure…

A few seconds later he walks back into the bathroom to see Hermione not looking at the details but sees her in pain, "Mione you okay?"

She gasps and says, "My water broke…"

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Author's note: Yep, that's it till next time. R&R. You're all sweeties for reviewing.

Next Time: You meet the newest Malfoy. What happens with the family? How Max takes to being a big brother. Also a trip to Disneyland wouldn't hurt either…


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